So, my record is done! It's written, recorded, mixed and
mastered.
It's been a long journey, but I'm really really excited and
exhausted. I really tried to live up to this record. Making
records is kinda hard for me. Writing is easy. Feelings have
overwhelmed me since I was young, and I spent years getting
fluent at trying to get out of their way, to paint a picture
with nothing in-between the feeling, and hearing those
feelings.
I did this alone. By myself. Just the feeling and me and a
pen. I have always loved words and the craft of writing. It
is a love affair that has outlasted many relationships! I am
sure it will last my whole life. It has been a rewarding and
calming pursuit. Never disappointing. Making records didn't
start till I was 19. It's harder for me, because I had no
grasp of the process. It is rigid and not alive in the way
performing or writing is. It's been hard for me to adapt to,
also, I guess, because I am not in control. I need to rely
on musicians and producers and mixers. They all have to see,
feel, and interpret my vision as clearly as I do.
And that is hard to do. It's rare, especially because I
don't like rehearsing. I don't like to practice. I am
impatient and petulant. I don't even like things to be
perfect, in a technical sense. I just like it to move
you.......
Well, it's been 12 years since I recorded my first CD, and I
feel like I have learned enough to finally affect the
outcome of one! On my first CD I avoided the whole problem
by recording it live. That way nothing could come in between
me and the raw feeling when I sang. I think I was able to do
the same thing on this CD, but with some musicians playing!
This is a singer-songwriter CD. This is a terribly personal
CD. I was cryptic enough that I did not betray what I feel
is personal, but I was able to exorcise the feelings I
needed to. It has been a crazy ass life, and a crazy ass
couple of years. What I can say about it, I said in the
songs. I tried to make this an intensely personal record;
one that is almost embarrassing to listen to. I pulled no
punches. I tried not to repeat myself on any song.
In some ways this is an old-fashioned record. I think u need
to hear all 13 songs to get the whole picture. I hate
records that have 2 or 3 good songs and the rest are low
calorie fillers. I want you to hear the whole CD. Give it a
chance. I spent so much time on these lyrics. So much blood
and guts went into these songs. Even into what order they
are in, so they complement each other. I layered it, so that
hopefully every time you hear it, you get something
different out of it.
I have been in this business for a while now. It's kinda
wild to think about. Sometimes my mind can't even compute
it. I grew up in alaska. A weird upbringing, but a lot of
good to it, too, I guess. I ended up homeless and living in
a car. I used to shoplift so I didn't have to use food
stamps. I used to have doctors turn me down for my kidneys
cause I didn't have insurance. I used to hope beyond hope
and I even believed in people who did not deserve my naive
faith, but somehow it has all turned out ok. I mean, now I
have plenty of money, great doctors, and I get to write
songs for a living! Its all so unbelievable. But it is just
as strange in new ways. Ghosts follow you, and it is still
all on my shoulders. Just how I like it.
I have made a life I really like. I live in Texas. It's not
like Alaska, but it's a big ranch, and has nothing to do
with the music scene. Just like when I was young, music is
just something I love and do. It's not a scene, its not
parties or schmoozing, or being political. Don't get me
wrong, I am gonna do my job to the best of my ability. I am
competitive, and like succeeding. I will promote my CD, and
work hard, and do everything I have to, to try and get
people to hear this music, but on all my off days I am at
the ranch riding and eating at the local diner. I am truly
lucky. In fact, on this record, im gonna try to do a lot of
my press at the ranch here. I'm also gonna go home to alaska
and do some stuff up there, so u guys can see it. I never
really have shown it to anyone, and id like to now. It goes
with the music.
I have been thinking a lot about this CD, about the music
business, about how everything works. I am in the business,
but in a lot of ways I have the freedom to do things my own
way. I care a lot about this record. It means a lot to me,
and I want you guys to get a feel for it. It gets
frustrating that fans only download one song they hear on
the radio. It gets frustrating that radio only plays certain
songs that fit a certain format. I have songs that I think
will do good on radio, but there is one song that sums up
this record and this time in my life, my whole life
really.......And I don't think it really has a shot at radio
cause its 6 minutes long. So, I had a friend shoot me
singing it at the ranch on Super 8, and I'm gonna release it
on this web site tomorrow. I want people to hear and see
things when there is still nothing between me and the
feeling. Soon there will be interviews and singles and the
dance will begin. The circus will wind up and I will dance
for my songs the best I know how, but for now I want to give
you a visual that is as raw as my lyrics. It's the title
track on the record. 'Goodbye Alice in Wonderland'. I think
i said it all in the song, and it is all pretty clear. But I
guess I will answer questions about it if u have some. I
won't do that for the press, most likely, because it never
really works.
I hope you enjoy. The CD won't come out until early May, so
this is my teaser. I may even leak this on the web, so that
more people can see and hear this song before the first
single drops.
Hope you all are well, Jewel
